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The Faux Museum
How old is The Faux Museum? 10,003 years? I have been with The Faux since 1990. This latest iteration began in February, 2012 when I returned from a tour as a librarian in Seattle, Washington. Now, we are closing.
Will it ever appear again? Maybe. At the end of January our lease is up and we are not renewing. Sunday January 11, 2015 will be our last day for the museum. Thanks to everyone who went through our exhibits and there were well over 4,000 who paid to go through.
- The Faux Museum is a conceptual art museum
- The Faux Museum is a critical thinking museum with a sense of humor
- Some of our 2012-2014 exhibits and events include:
- Tour de Faux! Our 0.0 mile bike event
- 10,000 years of Faux History
- The Faux Masters
- The Liars Hall of Shame
- The Monument of the 7th Dimension: Portal
- Faux University School Carnival Extravaganza Thing
- Musical Chairs Cakewalk
- Thinking Outside the Chip
- The Lost Secrets: A botanical mystery
- Collections & Anomalies
- The Faux Reel film series
- World’s Oldest Museum
- Home of the world’s last living Woolly Ant
- People came from over 60 countries and all fifty states
- Mississippi was the final state to be represented
- Lots of Australians, Canadians, Japanese, Chinese, English & French
- One man wearing only florescent yellow socks shat on side of our building
- I picked up and physically threw out only one man
- Three people punched my windows because they were mad at their girl/boyfriends
- Just this last week another crazy broke out both my front windows
- We had regulars
- We had many great parties
- WE HAD FUN
Thank all of you who came and enjoyed The Faux Museum. I appreciate it very much!
Next Sunday October 19th our latest exhibit; Thinking Outside the Chip: Alternatives to the gravity of our electronics - the amazing show with the boring name will come down at 5pm. Almost 1000 people have seen this show which has been up for three plus months. During that time scores of people from all over the world have added bits and pieces to this interactive, hands-on show. If you get a chance we would love it if you stopped by.
Our hours are nearly the same we just get to go home an hour earlier Tuesday through Saturday.
Tuesday through Saturday Noon to 6pm.
In order to save your time in this ever more busy world The Faux Museum has put together a short guide to who likes and who doesn’t like The Faux Museum. We will begin with a short list of the likers and the haters.
Will like The Faux Museum
- People that work in Museums
- Heavy people
- Thin people
- South Americans
- Open minded persons
- People ready to have fun
- Old people
- Almost everybody
Will NOT like The Faux Museum
- Closed minded people
- Teenagers trying to fit in
- People that want to know how big it is (The Wal-Mart syndrome)
- Stock Brokers
- Millennials working in advertising
So by and large almost everybody loves The Faux, but closed minded people do not. So whether you are a republican, democrat or independent makes no difference as long as you are open to new ideas. Libertarians and Objectivists on the other hand have a hard time appreciating art or non-max-capitalism ideas. Which brings us to hipsters; we have had our share of cool cats in The Faux and they have loved it, but a hipster is another category altogether. Hipsters (and yuppies too by-and-large) are closed-minded people masquerading as artist, and open minded individuals; however, they will only “take their talents to” establishments which are already sanctioned by other hipsters or hipster periodicals – which are magazines or periodicals or blogs which feature irony instead of journalism.
In conclusion: if you are a person who enjoys new things, likes to have fun, is a critical thinker, has a good sense of humor and does NOT follow the pack then we think you will enjoy us.
The FauxMuseum has procured an ancient communication machine for its latest exhibition – Thinking Outside The Chip. This machine although manufactured decades ago is able to transfer what you are thinking directly to an output source and immediately make two actual paper copies of your thoughts.
How it works: The machine’s user thinks his or her thoughts and presses areas of the machine representing individual (primarily) sounds. These sound-symbols are then transferred simultaneously to a sheet of paper which is shadowed by a micro thin sheet of carbon which instantaneously transfers an exact duplicate onto another sheet of paper. Representatives from Apple, Microsoft, Google and the US Defense Department have visited The Faux Museum to view this incredible machine.
“This is a game changer,” stated a stunned Kevin Rose of Google. “That’s primarily why I have moved to Portland and built our gigantic super ugly and inappropriate compound in Northwest Portland. It is actually a high security research facility to try to study this ‘type-writer’ as Mr. Richards has labeled it. It is truly humbling to be in its presence. We just have to figure out a way to monetize it and exploit third world workers in the process.”
Sunday June 8, 2014 is the final day of Collections & AnoMalieS : Public & Private.
June 5 - Noon to 6pm
June 6 - Noon to 7pm
June 7 - Noon to 7:45 - Reception for collectors from Collections & Anomalies exhibit from 6 to 8.
Sunday June 8, 2014 - Noon to 5pm
- The museum will then be closed for installation until June 14, 2014.
DJ Dairy & Bergerette will be your amazing entertainment at this musical chairs cakewalk. Cakes and doughnuts galore! DJ Dairy (AKA Tres from Voodoo Doughnuts) will be spinning the funky tunes, and the beautiful and sexy Bergerette will be singing beautiful French songs (en français). More details to come but really what more info do you need, funky music, sexy women singing in French, cake, party and The Faux Museum!?!
Sorry for any inconvenience but The Faux Museum will be closed today Sunday February 9, 2014.
Collections & AnoMalieS
Public & Private
Beginning March 20, 2014 with a run through May 26, 2014 The Faux Museum brings you: Collections & AnoMalieS: Public & Private. This exhibit will feature odd and interesting collections from museum and private collections around the Portland area as well as around the world including the Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology in Cambridge U.K. Stay tuned here for more information on which individuals and institutions will be taking part.
Collections Include but are not limited to items from...
- Seattle Art Museum
- Oregon Nikkei Leggacy Museum
- Museum of Archaeology and Anthopology in Cambridge, England
- Tres Shannon
- I.M.O.L.E. [The International Museum of Littered Ephemera]
- The Tiny Museum
- The Bathtub Museum
- Vintage and antique advertising paper from Matt Wagner
- The human nail collection
- A jar of teeth
- The lint and doodle collection
- The Jane Shannon collection
- and much, much more (We could have put in several other muches but we don't want to brag...but)